Clever way of getting his features in there.
LITTLE FUCKING BEAR PANCAKES!
I WANT SOME SO I CAN DRENCH THEM IN MAPLE SYRUP OH MY GOD
THIS IS SO CUTE I DON’T EVEN LIKE PANCAKES
The Potoo - Either the most unphotogenic or the most ridiculous looking bird in the world.
unphotogenic? these are my favorite pictures of any bird ever
my spirit animal
they look as beautiful as they sound.
That’s not a bird, that’s a MUPPET
Here’s the thing.
You are within full rights to bash on cops and hospital staff all you like. But keep in mind, 9/10 their hands are tied by the law as much as anyone elses and they are simply doing their fucking jobs. Always. So if you got a speeding ticket for *gasp* speeding and you bitch about how all police suck, or you go into the emergency room for a fucking COLD and bitch about it taking forever, don’t expect sympathy. Do expect wrath.
Some people’s children…
Cashier Problem 24601:
The words “are you ready for the big daddy” should never be uttered, unless of course you are chatting about Bioshock to your cashier.
Also, after this transaction, returning the the store and walking behind the cashier to whom you uttered that line is fine. YANKING HER PONYTAIL IN WHAT YOU THINK IS A FLIRTY MANNER IS NOT.
YOU ARE OVER 50 YEARS OLD. YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER THAN THAT. DON’T ACT ALL SURPRISED WHEN THE CASHIER TURNS AROUND AND FIXES YOU WITH A LOOK SO COLD AND FULL OF RAGE SHE MIGHT AS WELL HAVE ATTEMPTED TO SMACK THE STUPID OUT OF YOU and a “Don’t Touch me,” SANS FUCKING PLEASE. ACTING SHOCKED AND TRYING TO PASS IT OFF AS THE OTHER FEMALE CASHIER (who is bagging) WILL NOT WORK AND WILL ONLY GET YOU SENT TO BE RUNG UP AT CUSTOMER SERVICE. Don’t you dare act put out and upset, asshole.
“women are weaklings!”
i’m strong enough to carry
your corpse to the woods
So I saw Gatsby today
Just in case any of you happened to be curious, I counted
‘Old sport’ is said 52 times throughout the entire movie
Iron Man 2 vs. The Avengers
here’s the thing, if you start waxing philosophical about how people with tattoo’s will never have a steady income/ are terrible people, you should probably actually use your eyes and take note as to whether or not your cashier HAS A LARGE FUCKING CARNATION INKSTITCHED INTO HER FUCKING ARM.
don’t be shocked as all hell when I am syrupy sweet and clipped with my responses honey-fucker.